Totally random post.

But yesterday, I was watching the end of In Her Shoes on HBO, and I remembered another time that my dad and I caught like the very end of the movie (like the last 2 minutes) and the overvoice was reciting th e.e. cummings poem. And I was like, "I know this poem..." and i was wracking my brins to think of the poet, but then my dad goes "e.e. cummings." and I swear, my mouth dropped because. I never even knew my dad knew who e.e. cummings was. I had no idea he read poetry. or even read this poem.

and that's when i thought, i've known my dad my entire life, and I don't even know like .5% of his life.
and it made my a upset.
Just a little twinge in some atrium of my heart.
I have 50% of his DNA, but I know nothing about who he is.

Life can throw a fastball at you like that.

So, because of the wonderful and oh so sexxxy Anatagon- I have revisited my old friend.
And I realized... I never write in this thing.
So my one and only fan: Anat. this is dedicated to you.

Okay now I feel like I should include an entertaining story, but the I have none.
OH! The buttons on my shirt kept popping open during school day (what a scandalous way to start the school year). Unfortunately it wasn't due to my oversized chest (HAH! I WISH) but to the extra fat I have gained over the summer. I love it though. It makes it seem my chest has gotten bigger, BUT SECRETLY IT'S MY EXTRA LAYER OF FAT THAT HAS ROLLED UNDER MY NON-EXISTANT CHEST THAT WANTS TO BREAK FREE AND LET LOOSE.

And with that. I will leave you with a parting message:
... what is love? baby. don't hurt me. baby. don't hurt me. no more.

Oh and... okay. Colin Firth as Darcy... I'm beginning to see it.

So I guess 5 weird things that I do:
1. I don't really like scary novels or mystery novels (cause they scare the bejeesus out of me), but when I do read one and it starts to get really really really scary, I shove them underneath my couch. I don't know why I do that, but I've done it since like 2nd grade: I would hide my bad math test scores underneath (I had a lot of =( on my tests). It's like a comfort thing, like they can't hurt me if it's underneath the sofa. Unfortunately, my dad found all my bad test scores. So now I don't tell him my bad scores =). But I still hide scary books.

2. I absolutely hate it/find it annoying when I see asian people huddled up trying to study last minute for a test. I don't know why, it just makes me so annoyed and I'm like RAWR. Or maybe it's only when I see freshman asians during dorkestra class do it. But hey, I admit it. I do it. And then I think, "Oh crap."

3. Okay, Okay. This I think is pretty odd, and nobody knows this about me. So You know what LJ peoples: YOU'RE THE FIRST TO KNOW. Okay, I used to give my fingers like personality (thumb=dad, pointer= mom, middle= son, ring= daughter, pinkie= baby). And I would pretend that the thumb (dad) would go into a bar and impersonate a woman and hit on his bar friends, b/c of a prank they pulled on him. And I would make him a wig from my hair: it's hard to explain, like i would wrap my hair (still on my head) on my thumb so it looked like a beehive hairstyle? And the thumb and pointer finger (mom) would go to the bar and play a joke on his bar friends. Weird? I think so.

4. When I'm unsatsified with an ending for a book or movie (usually ones that leave you hanging), I'll just write my own ending and pretty soon I start to belive in it.

5. I can't walk and drink at the same time. When I'm walking down the hallway and I get thirsty, I have to stop. open bottle. drink. continue walking. It's pretty bad when people behind me get pissed off, but if I don't; I end up spilling half the bottle on me.

Iuno who to tag this too. I am friendless. =(

So I tag the world!

HAPPY BIRFDAY TO THE VOLUPTUOUS AND NOW RACY-FIED (I have no idear what I'm saying) KRISTINA CHIAPPETTA.

You know what?
Amy has 3 letters.
AIDS has 4 letters.
I'm done.

So Happy Birfday to Amy.
My fellow Rentwhore.
I will once again play you my electric bango.
"brang brang"
=)

And I have turned into a Rentwhore.
And I still think Rosario Dawson has a better voice than the original MiMi.
And much prettier too.

And I have fallen in love with ::sigh:: Mark.

ANYWAY: :E for Amy.

And this icon... was created... by soemone in the rent_the_movie community.
I forgot your username.
Sorry.
But i lover it.
I lover Mark.

I LOVER AMY.

You know what?
As I sit here (not doing anything I should be doing) listening to Lover's Waltz and I think
I want to make someone cry, the way I'm crying now.
I want someone to feel the way I am feeling right now.
I want to play like they are playing now.

And now I regret all those times I should've been practicing, but didn't. I
used to love The Beast, what happened?
I used to play for the enjoyment of playing, but now...
there's nothing. I just feel burdened when I play it now.
I've abused the poor thing. Scratch marks, crusted over rosin on the strings.

I miss loving to play.

=)
Yes, I am back. I keep going from Xanga. To LJ. To Myspace. So I think I'll stick with this for awhile.
Aren't you glad I'm back?
I'm glad I'm back. Except I should be outlining.
But I'm still glad I'm back.

Let's dance!... in our underwear.
Or let's make out.
Or skinny dip... in a frozen pond.
Let's do something crazy.

Mid-terms are over.
And now the trouble is only starting to begin.
I detest these tests.
If you don't do well, It's basically saying, "You're a failure to life. Why not just join the McDonald's Crew team now and learn to say, 'Do you want your fries supersize?' now b/c that's where you'll end up."
If you do well (which is good, I hope you guys did well), it's saying, "Welcome to Harvard and the perfect life" (which is good too), but... It seems life is always has to do with these tests.

Rigth now, these mid-terms are telling me that I should practically have the uniform already, according to the fact that I completely totally eff-ed em' up.
And the messed up thing (although It is probably true to many of you), we're more afraid of getting back bad grades b/c of what our parents will say/do.
We all stare at our grades (if it's bad) and go, "shit, my parents are going to kill me!"

Shouldn't our parents be encouraging us though?
Shouldn't they look at our bad grades and be like, "You did the best you could. I'm proud of you."
Instead of penalizing us going, "A C?! HOW CAN YOU GET A C IN MATH?! I NEVER GOT A C IN MATH!"
Don't they realize that our bad grades make us feel bad enough already.
We don't need the extra "we're dissapointed in you. you know this means we have to get rid of your _____ (fill in the blanks)."

I literally came home, and crawled into my bed and started crying (not loudly in case my mother could hear and be like, "what's wrong wif you?! stop being so dramatic!")
And it sucks. I hate being upset over grades. I've never been obsessed over grades, like ever.
I used to hate those kids who'd be like, "OH NO! I GOT A B IN _____"
And I still do, in a way.
Since I usually have to hope and pray and beg to get a B in that class.
Or like "OH NO A B+ ON MY APUSH MIDTERM!"
I swear, I could... nvm.

And it's like, our parents penalize us, but our friends do it too.
It's like, "I did so bad on the midterm. I got a B."
And if you get like a B- or like a C+, it just makes you feel 10 times worse.
And I don't need to be upset over my grades as it is.

So to everyone I guess, don't make your friends feel like crap.
That's the parents job.
Don't be like, "Oh no! I did so bad! I got an A-" b/c you never know the person your talking to got a C or like a B.
And be proud of your grade (I know I'm being hypocritical).
Learn from your mistakes (being cliched, which my English teacher wrote all over my essays).

And to everyone, I'm proud of you guys.
These tests do not determine your future.
Your bad grades DO NOT make you a loser. You guys are not losers.
No matter what. Don't forget that.

And to everyone who has gotten amazing grades, good job.
I know you guys earned it.

and Now I will probably drown my sorrows into a good shower.
And maybe a good cry. And hope and pray that my dad doesn't kill me over my grades (literally).

Basically my subject title.
I basically spent my procrastination time (well one of my procrastination time) taking a shower.
A shower. Iuno why, but taking a shower is one of the most soothing moments in my day.
It's like all the dirrrty stuff is being washed off. And it's a time for YOU. Not for Chem, not for Algebra, not for your parents or your teachers, but for YOU.
It's weird though. And it's also when I feel the most vulnerable (b/s when I'm sleeping, but when I'm sleeping I don't realize that I'm vulnerable oh and of course when I'm crying, but that's a whole different issue). Because of the fact that you're exposed (no duh).
Iuno, when I get out of the shower, I think it's the only time I can look in the mirror and be satisfied with the way I look.
Despite the fact that my hair is all stringy and icky and wet and my boobs are too small and my butt too big. But I feel the most beautiful when coming right out of the shower.
It's a clean, satisfying feeling.

I <3 my shower moments. (wowzers I am weird).

Although the Midterms are looming over us, Don't stress out so much (although i shouldn't be talking).
Take break now and then.
Go watch a movie.
Read a book.
Hang out with your best friend.
Dance in your room with nothing but your underwear on... (or nothing on if that makes you happie)
Just don't have your nose in a book all day.
Take the time to relax and be Happie.

And especially today, take a moment out of your busy sechdule and think of what today is.
Today is not just a day off to cram for midterms (although that is what most of us will be doing).
Today is Martin Luther King's Day.
Think of what today signifies.
Think of those who faced the risk of death, just to win some RESPECT.
Think of those who said that they would rather walk to work, then take the bus and sit in the back.
Think of those who made died trying to create a world free of prejudicism.
Especially think of those who had a dream...

Today is not just for the day for the Civil Right Movement for African Americans
It's for all Civil Rights Movements.
The women... the workers... even the kids.
It's everyone civil right's movement.

So I just wanted to say. Relax and be happie. Don't stres so much; stressing will get you nowhere, except massive depression.
And think of those dreams... make them a reality.
And create some dreams for your own... for all dreams can come true.

(PS: the subject title has to do with something that was said about the Battle of Gettysburg in the movie Remember the Titans. I thought it was fitting since Remember the Titans was taken place smack dab in the middle of de-segregated schools).

You wanted something more than this/ You fell down for someone else's kiss
- Exit to Exit; Ryan Cabrera (I'm a nerd)

Avoidance is key to any great problem.
If you ignore it, maybe it'll just go away.

... How I wish that were true.

It's so weird how It's so hard for anyone to confront their problems
Wether it be just sheer lazyness
Or wether we're just too afraid to...
Even though we all know, in our hearts, that once you confront it
You will feel better...
(breaks out into singing some random song sung by Gavin DeGraw)

Notice how I go from being prophetically profound to utter stupidity in just one sentence.

Think my blabbering is done for today.